Identity Crisis

Haven’t been blogging much lately because of countless reasons. I won’t even bother listing all of them down because I just don’t want to. But I can tell you that I am very unhappy with my life and job. I don’t care if my boss is reading this or if I get into trouble. In fact, it’ll be fantastic if he or she reads my blog. I was asked this question, “Do you like your job?” Heck no! To be honest, I hate it. When people ask what I do for a living, I want to lift my head up high and confidently announce that I’m saving the world bit by bit by putting a smile on peoples’ faces and helping each other along. Even construction workers have something to be proud of – they have built tall skyscrapers. What about me? I haven’t achieved anything great or made myself useful. What’s up with the corporate world anyway? Why do people have to behave in a snobbish manner? Oh right. Like I owe you a living. Don’t you dare tell me that I’m an incompetent worker just because you don’t like the way I work. And to you, just so you know, I hate the way you reply with your condescending tone whenever I ask a simple question and I don’t get a direct reply.

I’m not happy. Simple as that. I admit I’m suffering from an identity crisis. To be honest, I have no clue as to who I am and what I’m doing. I don’t wish to work for anybody except myself. I am an extremely selfish person and will only want to work for myself. I want to be a painter, a writer, a traveller, an animal-assisted therapist and I want to help people on my own accord. I don’t want to see the elderly having to peddle packets of tissue on the streets or giving out flyers. My heart aches for them and I always wonder to myself, “Are they doing this because they need the money to survive? Or are they doing this because they have nothing else better to do?” The more I think, the crazier I become and want to do things on impulse. Like getting a tattoo or bungee jump. Let my hair loose and go all out and wild.

I’m on the verge of quitting my job (been into it 3.5 months already) and travelling the world on the 1.5k savings I managed to scrape together after paying my bills and driving lessons/test. I draw inspiration from the novel and movie Eat. Pray. Love. I need to figure out my life.

I need to sleep. Let me have a good rest. Goodnight.

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